Funny Birthday Gift – “Still Not Cooler” Scented Soy Candle | Long-Lasting 50+ Hour Burn

Description

Acceptance is the First Step

Let’s face it: they might have more gray hair and a 401k, but they definitely aren’t getting any cooler. Celebrate their special day with a dose of brutal honesty using our “Older, Wiser, Still Not Cooler” scented candle. Featuring a clean, minimalist label on a reusable glass jar, this candle is the perfect way to roast your best friend, sibling, or coworker while still giving them something they’ll actually love to use.

Premium Clean-Burning Soy The joke might be harsh, but the ingredients are gentle. We hand-pour each candle in the USA using 100% natural soy wax sourced from American farms. Unlike the cheap candles of their youth, this one is non-toxic, eco-friendly, and free from parabens and phthalates. The 100% cotton eco wick ensures a steady, clean burn that lasts for 50–60 hours.

A Scent for Every Stage of Life Customize the vibe with our range of thoughtfully blended fragrances:
Pink Grapefruit: Bright and zesty (unlike their knees).
Comfort Spice: A cozy blend of cinnamon and clove for nights on the couch.
Fresh Balsam: Crisp and outdoorsy.
(Also available in Vanilla Bean, Sea Breeze, Spiced Pumpkin Ginger, Eucalyptus Lavender Herb, and Unscented).

Why It’s a Birthday Essential:
Hilarious Decor: The “Older, Wiser, Still Not Cooler” text adds a witty touch to desks, bookshelves, or nightstands.
Reusable Vessel: The clear glass jar with a white screw lid creates a modern aesthetic and can be repurposed as a pen holder or catchall once the wax is gone.
Gift-Ready: A high-quality item that feels substantial and thoughtful, despite the sarcasm.

Product Features:
Label: “Older, Wiser, Still Not Cooler”.
Wax: 100% USA-Farmed Natural Soy Wax (Vegan).
Wick: 100% Cotton Eco Wick (Lead & Zinc Free).
Vessel: Clear Glass Jar with White Lid.
Burn Time: 50–60 Hours (9oz jar / 7.5oz wax).
Safety: ASTM Safety Compliant & Hand-Poured in the USA.

Care & Safety Instructions
Wick Care: Trim the wick to 1/4 inch before lighting to keep the flame clean and bright.
Best Practice: Burn for 3-4 hours at a time to allow a full melt pool to form.
Safety: Keep within sight and away from flammable objects, children, and pets.
Disposal: Discontinue use when 1/2 inch of wax remains at the bottom.